The Man Behind The Myth
This is a personal post. So if you have the patience to put up with it, I appreciate it. If not, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
Today is my husband’s birthday.
So rather than talk about you, or me, I’m going to talk about him today.
And yes, referencing myself as a “myth” is coming it a bit strong, since I’m neither the Goddess of Love, nor the Earth Goddess, nor the Mother Goddess. I’m just me. But it made for a good headline… right?
My husband and I “met” online 13 years ago. I know that is passé nowadays, but think back to 1998; if you were exploring online dating in any way, shape or form, you were a peculiar creature. Not to mention it just wasn’t done, let alone heard of, in India (which is where I’m from and lived at the time). But as fate would have it, we “met” even though he was in California and I was in India, liked each other, and one thing led to another and he asked me to marry him.
Over email.
And then over the telephone (because I told him I wouldn’t believe it until I heard it from his mouth).
And we met in person 10 days before our wedding.
Which was in India.
Which wonderful country he had never traveled to before.
I could regale you with the entire story of our courtship, but I’ll save that for another time (I think there’s a novel, or at least a movie, in there).
There are many things that strike me as quite wonderful about my husband, but perhaps the most wonderful is the absolute and implicit faith he has in the people he loves… and that includes me.
I mean, he flew halfway around the world to marry a woman he had never even met!
When I got my green card (I’ve now been an American citizen for 3+ years) and moved to the US – the first time I’d ever been in this country – he never pushed me to get a job or earn my keep, as it were. He said, “Do what makes you happy.”
It made me happy to work, so I did.
When I was faced with the choice of being incredibly unhappy in my job … or giving it up … he said, “Do what makes you happy, and we’ll figure out the rest.”
And somehow, we did.
When I was given the incredible opportunity to revamp the PR function for a major non-profit organization – which also meant commuting to New York City from DC and staying there for two-three days a week – I was worried about how it might impact him and our marriage. He said, “How can you not do this?”
So I did.
When one of our dearly-loved pets died in horrendous circumstances – while I was in NYC for said job – he picked up the pieces. And he said, “We’ll get through this.”
And we did.
When I left my previous job, and was worrying about what would happen next, he asked, “Why don’t you just do your own thing?”
So I did.
I don’t want you to think I don’t have a mind of my own. Far from it; I am very opinionated pigheaded self-aware fill in the blank _____
But when we share our lives with someone else, we want to make sure that the decisions we make about our own lives will not affect them adversely.
And it is a measure of their greatness that these people – these wonderful people we come across, and choose to share our lives with – don’t just focus on what’s best for them, but what’s best for you, me and us.
If I have accomplished anything thus far … and that is up for debate! … it would not have been possible without the utter and implicit faith, hope and love that my husband shows me, day in and day out.
So today, I want to say “thank you.”
Thank you to my husband for that faith. Thank you, for that hope. Thank you for that love.
Thank you for who you are, who you have been, who you shall be.
For without that, I am nothing.
As an extra-special birthday gift, my husband gently suggested it would be nice if I stayed off any form of digital media today. What a concept, huh?! So I apologize in advance for responding late to any comments, but I know you’ll understand.
Late to the (birthday) party, but that doesn't diminish the wishes I send your husband's way on his birthday, and to you...for being you:) Thanks for sharing. I've been married 33 years now, and my husband is of that same sentiment: "do what makes you happy". There isn't anything better than that. "Absolute and implicit faith"...that's what should underpin all relationships. I always say: "I will trust implicitly until you give me reason to mistrust." (the remainder of that sentence when I use it with my sons..."and if the latter, you will rue the day you were born"...said with a smile, of course.
Thanks for sharing: beautiful! Cheers! Kaarina
KDillabough It makes the wishes even better, because his "birthday jubilee" continues - thank you, my friend! And sounds like you have a fab husband as well. :)
Shonali I do indeed...a toast to doing what makes us happy, every day!
Definitely there is a book in that Shonali (maybe a movie too! Aw, what a nice story! You left me wanting to hear more but I'm a sucker for a romance!
Lori
Wow a true real life love story. Awesome. Thanks for sharing.
imladitee Thank you for stopping by!
Shonali, I didn't think I could be any more moved than I was by your post about your parents and grandparents, but this did it. What a beautiful reflection. Very generous of you to share it.
KensViews Thank you so much. I was wondering if it was actually selfish of me to share it, but I felt like I really needed to write about him, because so many people "see" me but not him.
Shonali You can't please everyone. I think we live in a world where the more personal our brand, the more likely we are to attract the kinds of partners with whom we want to do business. And it's not like you were doing an Anthony's Weiner!
KensViews I'm laughing even more at the 's you added...!
This is movie material Shonali, what a great story of life, love and "faith". You two are a special couple!
Tell your husband happy birthday for me!
Joe
hackmanj I did, and he's very touched by all the good wishes coming to him from so many people he's never met. Thank you, my friend.
Wow, is there any way to hug you two right *now*? I was a fan, I am now a devotee :-)
AmritPa1 Aw, how sweet. Thank you. :) You know about the virtual hug machine, right?
Incredible story, but I can't even imagine he thinks you are online too much...........:). Trust me, I hear it too.
Sounds like a pretty special guy for a pretty special lady and the perfect match. Any you can write a 'personal' story anytime you want.
I hope you were able to celebrate his birthday in style. Good to see you and hope you have a great, long weekend.
bdorman264 Actually, he gives me very little grief for being online so much. I think I may have mentioned this in a comment over at your place... or maybe it was markwschaefer - but when I've felt guilty and told him to tell me to get OFFline, he's looked at me and said, "But that's what you do." I developed a very bad "crackberry" habit (when I was using one) though, and I'm trying to teach myself to not be constantly checking iPhone, iPad, etc., when I'm supposed to be off.
Shonali, I just loved this!! I had no idea about your story and when the book does come out, please sign me up! Enjoy the wonderful day!!
Marcus
Marcus_Sheridan You got it, and thank you for stopping by, buddy!
Beautiful. I hope you and your husband have many more happy years together; he sounds like quite the keeper! :)
annedreshfield He absolutely is!
Oh my goodness, Shonali , that was absolutely stunning and beautiful all at the same time. I did in fact cry and I loved it. Wow. Just wonderful.
Loved the pic, too!
Enjoy your time away and do NOT check back in with us today!
EricaAllison Shonali Pic was great, wasn't it?
bdorman264 EricaAllison Thanks! That was us walking down the aisle after we got married. It's so funny - I always cry at weddings - even those of total strangers on TV (!), but I didn't cry at my own. I don't know what that says about me.
That is a wonderful story. It sounds like you are both very lucky. All the best to you both.
TheJackB Thank you, Jack. I think we are. Not a day goes by I don't count my blessings.
I've got to admit this. I've never cried before reading a blog post. Never. Until now. Thanks for messing up my dress shirt Shonali. It was worth it.
DonnaVincentRoa Oh no, she's good at that w/ her dog post and family post; not that I was boo hooing but I might have know someone who was..........:)
DonnaVincentRoa Well, maybe I've set a new record for making people cry... Thank you for not holding it against me! bdorman264 Lisa Gerber ginidietrich EricaAllison
Very sweet.
wow! Best wishes to both of you. And waiting for the novel!
GautamGhosh Thank you!
just wow. and if we hear from, you are in trouble
faybiz It's ok for you to hear from me today, right?
Shonali yes, and i am stealing this for my anniversary in October - thanks for sharing your story and I hope you all had a GREAT day yesterday
faybiz We did, thank you! Our anniversary is on the 7th, so I'm taking all of next week off... it's a short-ish week anyway. Which anniversary are you coming up on?
Shonali nice for you!
8 years!
faybiz That's wonderful!
This is the fourth day in a row that I'm using this statement, "Husbands are the BEST.!" and you started it!! hahahaa.
Also, this is not the first time you've made me cry while visiting your blog. Seriously, I'm in my office and tears streaming down my face. granted, a little bit of an emotional wreck, i am, but that is a beautiful story. Love you for sharing it here.
and Happy Birthday. :)
Lisa Gerber I'm a trendsetter! ;) Sorry I made you cry, Lis. If it makes you feel any better, I made myself cry too. Happy tears.
I was in awe when you told me this story over lunch. Look forward to meeting him some day. Please tell him Happy Birthday!
HowieSPM I guess we'll have to leave this post alone, huh?
bdorman264 LOL. Yes. HowieSPM
What an awesome story - and yes, please share the courtship in another post/novel/movie :-) Happy birthday to your hubby and enjoy your day off!
HeatherShinnThomas I'll do my best, Heather. :) Gotta make sure I don't scare everyone off the blog, though, LOL!







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